Britwell Salome v The Min
Played at Britwell Salome CC on 24/04/2010
Britwell Salome batted first and made 134 all out. The Min replied with 137 for 4 wkts
Result: The Min won by 6 wkts
Match Report
from our Cricket Correspondent
It has been noted before, but Andrews Strauss and Flower really do have easy lives compared to their Min equivalents. Does Straussy arrive at Lord’s on the morning of a Test and have to chivvy up Matthew Prior, only for his wicketkeeper to tell him that he’s sent him an email explaining he can’t play because he’s busy watching West Ham?
It had all gone smoothly - in retrospect a little too smoothly - with the Min’s arrival at Britwell Salome for the opening game of the season. But with five minutes before the start they were hit with the devastating news that Jim had a date with a pie in Plaistow. Seasoned observer Will remarked that he had been surprised Jim was down to play as this date always marked the climax in the Hammers’ annual survival battle - and the veteran ‘Stender’s loyalties were only ever going one way.
Nevertheless the sun was out, and finally after 30 years so was Jel - advertising his new man-love for someone called Zac. (We can only wish him well, while reminding him that it is tolerant New Labour that has made it this happy civil partnership possible).
The Min lost the toss and were in the field. The first fine had already been awarded to Barrow for issuing environmentally bossy emails while installing an indoor swimming pool. The second was not long in coming, with the skip performing his own version of the long barrier and then following up with some classic shepherding. But in his second over Wiggy struck with his devilish variation, the pitched-up, straight delivery - and there followed a bewildering procession of similar dismissals, punctuated by a magnificent leaping catch at square-leg by Barrow. Britwell were 50-5 and Bes had already got half his 2009 wicket tally. Horn obligingly dropped the Britwell no 7, saving the relieved skip some jug money, and then JelZac was ruthlessly wheeling away, posing the Big Questions eg, “Why didn’t he bowl like this last season”, and “Would we like to hear more about how well the core vote is holding up in Tory marginals?” With his second wicket the mastercraftsman moved into the record books by passing 400. A truly extraordinary achievement, and one that cannot surely be surpassed (Wiggy - the gauntlet is down).
Some doughty late-order tonking brought the Britwell total to 134, before Ned beat the no 11 for pace, and the Min went satisfied to tea.
It is always morale-boosting for a batting side to be able to include a man called Hammond, and after Barrow had failed to connect with a leg glance, the Min debutant strode confidently to the wicket. Earn did his best to crush the young pretender, with his own special brand of calling, but the two were soon bedded in and romping. Earn was brutal, Tim initally elegant, then thrillingly masterful (down Jel). When Tim was dismissed for a fine 41, Horn came in and whacked a belligerent and somewhat bizarre 31, before leaving Mo to strike consecutive balls for four and six and Will to ease a cross-court forehand for the winning boundary.
An excellent victory was followed by something very strange: a curry in Watlington’s House of Spice - without the ordering of a cucumber raita. What next, West Ham survive in the Premier League and Gordo triumphs at the polls?
One seems a little more likely than the other…
Britwell Salome Innings
| Batsman | Dismissal | Runs | |
|---|---|---|---|
| D Ewan | b | R Beswick | 9 |
| C Pullen | b | P Wigg | 4 |
| J Smith | c S Barrowcliff | R Beswick | 5 |
| D Bloomfield | b | R Beswick | 4 |
| Treacher | b | R Beswick | 0 |
| Dennis | b | J Wright | 1 |
| P Lawrence | b | J Wright | 17 |
| N Humphries | b | J Wright | 0 |
| Penny | run out | 50 | |
| A Worman | b | E Garland | 13 |
| N Lawrence | not out | 8 | |
| Extras | (10b 4lb 9w 0nb 0p) | 23 | |
| Total | (33.4 overs) | 134 all out |
Fall of Wickets
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Score | 15 | 15 | 21 | 21 | 31 | 50 | 50 | 70 | 118 | 134 |
| Batsman | 2 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 3 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 10 |
Bowling
| O | M | R | W | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| P Wigg | 8 | 1 | 23 | 1 |
| R Beswick | 6 | 3 | 9 | 4 |
| J Wright | 8 | 2 | 26 | 3 |
| M Gupta | 7 | 2 | 32 | 0 |
| E Garland | 4.4 | 0 | 28 | 1 |
The Min Innings
| Batsman | Dismissal | Runs | |
|---|---|---|---|
| R Earney | b | N Lawrence | 36 |
| S Barrowcliff | b | P Lawrence | 5 |
| T Hammond | c A Worman | N Humphries | 41 |
| S Hornsby | c N Humphries | Treacher | 34 |
| W Calvert | not out | 5 | |
| M Gupta | not out | 10 | |
| P Wigg | dnb | ||
| R Beswick | dnb | ||
| E Garland | dnb | ||
| J Wright | dnb | ||
| Extras | (3b 0lb 2w 1nb 0p) | 6 | |
| Total | (26.4 overs) | 137 for 4 wkts |
Fall of Wickets
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Score | 12 | 84 | 122 | 123 | ||||||
| Batsman | 2 | 3 | 4 | 1 |
Bowling
| O | M | R | W | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dennis | 5 | 0 | 17 | 0 |
| P Lawrence | 6 | 2 | 25 | 1 |
| N Humphries | 5 | 1 | 21 | 1 |
| A Worman | 3 | 0 | 18 | 0 |
| N Lawrence | 4 | 1 | 16 | 1 |
| Penny | 5 | 0 | 31 | 0 |
| Treacher | 1.4 | 0 | 6 | 1 |
Win/Loss Ratio
| Won | Lost | Drawn | Tied |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |